Friday, 14 November 2008

A Trip to the Vagina Doctor

I finally had the guts to go to the gynaecologist's yesterday. The whole scenario just reminded me of why I don't enjoy going there in the first place. I mean, they don't exactly go out of their way to make it a special experience, do they? First she inserted a clearly over-lubricated ultrasonic dildo into me without ANY foreplay WHATSOEVER. Then she proceeded to shift it around inside me as if it was some manner of playstation joystick. No rhythm to speak of. I tried my best to concentrate, as one does, but it was no use. It was going nowhere.

'Well,' I finally spluttered, 'that's hardly going to bring me to orgasm now, is it?'

At this, she gave me a deeply forbidding look.

'Ah now that's a bit more like it!' I said encouragingly.

Then, a little later on, the woman began to manipulate my breasts. Completely ineptly, I might add, but I suppose she was doing her best.

'If I may make a tiny suggestion,' I began, 'it would be a lot more pleasant if you did this kind of thing BEFORE inserting the dildo. Just a hint... you might like to think about it.'

(Chuh! Sometimes I wonder what exactly they teach these people in medical school.)

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